Drawn not Dragged Not more God more communion!

DRAWN NEAR, NOT TAKEN OVER
Not more God. More communion…a reflection on the indwelling of God
For much of my life, if I am honest, I understood God something like this: God the Father was “up there.” Jesus was near.
The Holy Spirit was perhaps a feeling, a comfort, or a presence… but only to the degree that I was a “good boy.”
When I obeyed, God drew nearer. When I failed, God stepped back. I do not know that anyone explicitly taught me this. Perhaps I absorbed it.
Perhaps many of us do. And if we carry this quietly, we may come to believe that God’s nearness depends upon our performance.
But over years, and through Holy Scripture, suffering, and the slow mercy of God, another truth emerged.

The Holy Scriptures speak strangely and boldly: “I in them and You in Me…”
“Christ in you, the hope of glory…” “We will come to him and make our home with him…” “You are the temple of the Holy Spirit…”
Not God merely near me. Not God occasionally visiting. But indwelling. And here I stumbled.
Because if God truly dwells within, does that not erase me? Does holiness swallow personhood?
Could this mean communion mean losing oneself?
Holy Scripture and Holy Tradition answer otherwise!
The oxen yoked remain two. Husband and wife become one flesh and remain distinct persons.
A child in the womb is one with the mother, yet never becomes the mother.
Love unites without destroying.
And so God’s indwelling is not possession, domination, or absorption. Not imprisonment.
God indwelling is relationship. Communion. Participation.

The Divine Son became fully human without ceasing to be fully God,
becoming the Bridge by which humanity may participate in Divine Life—not by nature, but by grace… 2 Peter 1:4 “…
by which He has granted to us precious and very great promises,
so that through these you may become partakers of the divine nature,
having escaped the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.”
Meaning: “…that through these you may become partakers of the divine nature—
not as a drop lost in an ocean, nor as personhood erased, but as child with Father, bride with Bridegroom, branch in Vine, disciple yoked with Christ:
God remaining fully God and humanity healed, illumined, and brought into communion by grace…”

I once feared that God within me meant losing Ray.
Now I wonder whether the greater fear should be remaining only the diminished, fearful, fragmented Ray apart from Him.
For my deepest condition is this: I am sick unto death. I cannot rebuild myself. I cannot redeem myself.
I cannot heal what sin and fear and mortality have disordered.
I require not merely ideas, but a Person: A Physician. A Counsellor. An Advocate. A Friend. A Shepherd.
A Saviour.
And thanks be to God—the Gospel is precisely this: Not that I climbed to Him. But that He came near. Near enough to dwell.
What once frightened me has become consolation. Because if Christ truly shares my humanity, then I am never alone.
When I grieve, I do not grieve alone. When I suffer, I do not suffer alone. When I fail, I do not fail alone. When I die, I shall not die alone.
For the One who entered death has filled even death with His presence.

I once figured that God was present in me only in small portions—as reward for progress.
Now I am learning: His fullness was gift from the beginning, and sanctification is not receiving more of God,
but awakening more deeply to the fullness of God already given. Not more God. More communion. More surrender. More healing.
More becoming by grace what humanity was created for. The HolySpirit does not make us less ourselves.
The Holy Spirit makes us capable, slowly and mercifully, of becoming who we truly are in Christ.

Therefore: May I cease pulling against the yoke.
May I cease bargaining for nearness already offered!
May I decrease in all that is fearful, proud, and false— and may Christ increase. From glory to glory. Now. And unto ages of ages. Amen.

Prayer of St Macarius the Great: Lord Jesus Christ, enter the hidden places of my heart without violence and without departure.
Where there is fear, bring peace. Where there is shame, bring mercy. Where there is death, bring Life.
Make me by grace what You created me to become. Amen.

Fr Ray Dobson (C) 2026