DRAWN NOT DRAGGED

DRAWN, NOT DRAGGED — Part 9: “Forgive us… as we forgive…”

When we pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors,” we step onto holy—and difficult—ground. This is the part of the prayer that turns directly back on us.

We ask for mercy… in the same measure we give mercy. That can feel unsettling. Because we know how easily we hold on: to hurt, to resentment, to what others owe us. But the word here is deeper than money or offense. “Debts” means more than what we owe—means what we ought to be! Let that settle.

So we are praying: “Forgive me for all that I have failed to be… as I let go of what others have failed to be for me.” This is not about pretending nothing happened. This is about release. The word used by the Early Saints of the Church means more than “forgive”—it means: let it go, loose it, no longer hold whatever against them. This is why the prayer is so bold. We are not asking God to forgive us while we hold on to others without forgiving them. How they “ought” to be or not be with us! We are asking to be drawn into the same mercy that we ourselves extend. As St. John Chrysostom teaches, we cannot receive mercy if we refuse to give mercy.

Not because God withholds— but because we have closed our hands our hearts. This is where healing begins. Because when we refuse to forgive, we carry the weight. We replay the wound. We guard and keep holding the remembrance of wrongs or “you ought to have’s” alive. But when we forgive— even imperfectly, even slowly—change begins. The burden loosens. The heart and hands begin to open to receive and give mercy-to actually live mercy. Life returns. This is not easy.

Be careful to think forgiveness is just a feeling, for indeed forgiveness is a decision made again and again by cooperating with the Holy Spirit. Forgiveness may begin with a simple prayer: “Lord, I am not ready— but make me willing.” Or as the horribly upset person said to the Priest, I can’t and never will forgive. HE asked could you pray to be willing to forgive? No! was the immediate response. Well then, asked the Priest would you pray to be willing to be willing to forgive? Yes, was the answer. So, begin where you are as you are and never give up God is with you and Christ has overcome this world including out unforgiveness if we are even willing to be willing-God can work with that.

And here is the deeper truth: we are not being asked to do something foreign. We are being drawn into what God has already done for us. In Christ, everything is given.

Everything is released. And we are invited to live that same freedom. So this line of the prayer becomes a doorway: out of bitterness into mercy, out of division into communion. Not dragged into it— but drawn.

Question What am I still holding on to…that God is asking me to release?

Prayer Our Father,forgive us our debts,as we forgive our debtors.Enable letting go, forgivenesswhich will lead totruly living in the freedom You give.Draw us into Your mercy, even now in one such as Your child who seeks to become mercy for others. Amen.

Fr. Ray Dobson
©2026